I woke up last night to get ready for work and noticed it was snowing like a mofo! Now this isn’t a shocker as I do live in Canada. I guess I didn’t think I had to worry about it yet. This is my first snowfall working in a tiny town where I drive an hour from home in the middle of nowheresville. In the pitch black. Last night it was like driving to work in the beginning of a star wars movie. All I could think to myself was ” A long long time ago…” and also “PLEASE HAROLD (my god’s name) let the deer and other little critters remember the left right left rule”. I can barely see the road let alone a critter!
Already planning my overnight bag for when I’m stuck camping out in the city of nowheresville. Meds, socks, extra gitch,pjs. Comfies. Dry shampoo,deodorant annnnd diet pepsi ! In my profession, if the weather is bad we get ordered to stay. I’m ok with that as long as I have my supplies.
I am still really struggling with anxiety lately, I’m in recovery and I also think if I don’t make it out to a meeting I am being judged. Its not that I don’t want to go its that I don’t want to go…lol Ya know? Everything in my body keeps me home,in the safe zone. I’m not worried about a relapse. I’m ok with all of that(not complaint just aware). I just dread all the people. Hugs,hand shakes and small talk. It sounds so offensive when I put it out like that, its not meant to. Its just the only way I can describe it. I sit in a room and feel like crawling out of my skin when I’m there in this state. It sounds crazy. I’m aware but its my reality. I fidget and cant relax. I sweat. I feel 876087607834567567 eyes watching me even when they aren’t. People mean well when they ask me about meetings I know they do, but every time I feel horrendous guilt.
Started back on twitter the other day. What a gong show that Trump is.
G O N G S H O W !
I bet some tool gets paid 908720576024895762456 dollars to monitor his tweets but can’t be arsed cause they are so ridiculous. COME TO THE DARK SIDE TWEET MONITOR!!
Surely, that person cant be that dense. I mean…then again , their employer is the Donald.
So far that is all I have for now.
The chronicles of a worry wart will be continued….